Parental Care in Russia

Image by ckforic

An important difference I’ve noticed between the parent-child relationships in Russia and the USA is the parent’s attitude to their kid’s physical well-being. Russian parents tend to be more aggressive in ensuring their child is dressed warmly and well-fed. This is true about older children, well into their twenties, too.

For, example, a parent (or grandparent) in Russia may tell their kid, who, in their opinion, is dressed to lightly, “Where are you going? Put on some warmer clothes first.” Similarly, the parents may insist their young-adult child should eat something, if they believe the child hasn’t eaten enough or for a long time.

Displays of involvement like that often shock foreign exchange students who stay with Russian families. Visitors take them to be a violation of their privacy; even more so, that such active involvement is not usual in the USA or Europe.

Conversely, Russian-raised teenagers and young adults, who are used to being looked after and ostensibly cared for, are often offended by the apparent indifference of their Western peers or host families to the visitor’s well-being. I had a similar experience when I was an exchange student in the United States. Sometime in the winter, I caught a cold and had a light fever for a couple of days. I was slightly disconcerted when my host family didn’t try to do anything to help me fight the cold, not even as much as offer me a DayQuil.

As with any generalization, not everyone falls into the described categories. There are always moderate cases, and they probably represent the most reasonable attitude to caring for your family members. However, I believe it is true that Russians are, in general, more used to actively looking after their family members and being looked after, to the extent where it may be considered a privacy violation.

Advertisement